


The Emperors Dirty New Clothes

by periwren



Category: Sander Sides, Sander sides web series, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Allergies, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Or bad depending on your point of view, Patton is good at pranks, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Self-Esteem Issues, Vanity, pranks gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 15:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11808774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: Morality has just finished reading the Emperors New Clothes and thinks it's hilarious that the emperor could be tricked like that and decides to play a prank of his own. Princey is the unsuspecting victim and unfortunately things get out of hand.





	1. Idea

Morality had just finished reading the Emperor's new clothes and thought that it was hilarious that the emperor had been tricked like that. He giggled at the thought of him walking around with no clothes on just because everyone else said that they could see them. Morality wondered if he could pull a prank like that on one of the other sides. Not the same as the Emperors clothes (because they would have heard of the story) but something similar.

Morality grinned as an idea formed in his mind.

This was something Princey would fall for, he thought, I wonder if I can get Logic and Anxiety (maybe even Thomas) to join in too? Then the trick would be just as successful as the story.

So the next morning Patton decided to put his prank into action.  He was always the first side up and about to start the day and was busy making the others breakfast when Roman walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning Patton my is it not a glorious day," remarked Princey sitting down at the table reaching for the jug of fresh orange juice and a glass that Patton had put in the middle of the table.

"Good morning to you to Roman yes toda-oh?" said Patton as he turned away from the kitchen bench where he had been chopping some fresh fruits and placed the plate on the table, he frowned slightly as he looked at the royal sitting there.

"What's wrong?" asked Roman.

"You must have been really hungry this morning for you to skip your usual beauty routine." said Patton.

"What? I have never bypassed my beauty routine in my life! I can assure you that I have thoroughly cleansed, toned and moisturized this morning before descending for breakfast." said Roman.

 "Oh. Well it-it's just that you've got a spot," said Patton.

Princey frowned at him in confusion.

"A spot of dirt. Right there on the end of your nose. It's about the size of my thumbprint." said Patton pointing at the others face.

Princey quickly rubbed the end of his nose with his hand and when he pulled away he looked at his fingers - they were clean.

"Dear me, that seems to have just smudged it a bit more Princey." commented Patton a small smile growing on his face.

Princey quickly pulled out a compact mirror from his pocket and looked at his nose. He couldn't see any dirt.

"I can't see anything Patton." said Princey rubbing his nose again.

"It looks like that puppy I saw that one time that was digging in the flower beds and it got its nose all covered in dirt, that dog was so cute, but Logic said we couldn't keep it cause it wasn't ours, I wish we could get a dog and oh oh oh Princey let me take a picture it'll be really cute," giggled Morality as he pulled out his phone.

"No." cried Princey jumping out of his chair and making a beeline out of the kitchen and back up the stairs rubbing his nose with the back of his hand as he went.

Patton grinned when the other left.

I did it. It worked. I am doing really good at pranking he thought.


	2. Still there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others join in on Morality's little prank.

Patton went back to his usual routine of making breakfast.

He jumped slightly when he had finished making the pancakes and turned to put them on the table. Anxiety was sitting there hunched over, Patton hadn't seen or heard him come in. He poured the darker side some coffee and go a mumbled "Thanks" in reply. Anxiety always took a bit of time to wake up properly in the mornings, probably because he only got a limited amount of sleep.  

Patton took a seat and started to dish him self out some food. Where he was sitting, he was facing out towards the living room and he could see Princey walking back down the stairs. Patton quickly leaned forward across the table and whispered hurriedly to Anxiety.

"Hey Kiddo just go along with what I say okay, I'm doing a prank!"

"Huh?" asked Virgil in complete bafflement.

"Just play along," whispered Patton.

Virgil continued to look utterly confused.

At that moment Princey walked back into the kitchen a took a seat between the two sides and started dishing himself up some pancakes. The three of them tucked into their breakfasts silently savoring the meal but after a few minutes;

"Huh. Um Princey why didn't you wash the dirt off?" asked Morality casually as he took another bite of his food.

Princey froze his fork hovering just in front of his open mouth.

"What?"

"Why didn't you wash the dirt off?" repeated Patton staring at his nose innocently.

"I-I did." stammered Princey.

"No you didn't," smiled Patton "It's still there."

"But I did." said Princey rubbing his nose with the back of his hand again. He hadn't seen anything on his nose when he looked in his bathroom mirrors but he washed his face nevertheless. "It was clean."

"No it's still all smudgy and dirty." said Patton.

Princey quickly looked at Anxiety. Anxiety looked at Princey's nose. He couldn't see anything on his face. But he did see Patton's big exaggerated wink.

Ah.

"Actually I think the dirt is an improvement," smirked Anxiety.

Princey scowled and rubbed his nose harder.

"Don't do that it's just making it worse." said Patton.

Princey got up and briskly walked out and headed back to his bathroom.

When he was out of earshot Patton and Virgil burst into a fit of giggles.


	3. Whats the point?

"So Patton lets just go through this one more time. You are telling me that I should tell Roman he has dirt on his face - correct?" asked Logic.

"Yes." replied Morality cheerfully.

"But he actually  _hasn't_ got dirt on his face - correct?" queried Logic to make sure he was following.

"Yes."

"Then why exactly do you want me to provide him with misinformation?"  

"So that he thinks that he _does_ have dirt on his face."

"What precisely does that achieve?"

"He thinks that he has dirt on his face when there isn't any dirt at all! But to do that you have to tell him there is dirt on his face - see simple."

"I-I still don't think I am comprehending this accurately," muttered Logic to himself.

"That's okay lets start over again - Logic when you see Princey say that there is some dirt on his face."

"No, no stop! This we have had this exact conversation three times already (here Logic takes a deep breath to calm himself.) Patton, listen carefully and try to explain to me, bearing in mind although I am exceedingly smart, mind reading is not a skill that I have mastered as yet, _why_ do you want Princey to think he has dirt on his face when in fact there is no dirt present at all?" asked Logic slowly throwing emphasis on the last part in an attempt to get Morality to provide more exposition "I am concerned with your sudden inclination to spread lies."

"What? No! It's a prank! Um well I guess it is a bit of a lie, but it's just part of the trick - I can't really go and put dirt on Princey's nose. But it's funny that he thinks there is dirt when there isn't anything there."

"So the point is of this exercise it to make Princey appear foolish by believing in the nonexistent?"

"And it's cute when he rubs his nose with the back of his hand - he looks just like a cute little kitty cat cleaning themselves!"

"Well I suppose I can attempt to join in this ruse should an opportunity present itself."

"Oh but make sure you act serious when you say it don't giggle or anything or else Princey will know something's up."

"Morality I am always serious I wear a necktie."

 

~~~~

Princey turned the taps on at his bathroom sink. He adjusted the water to make it a little warmer than usual as hot water is better for removing dirt - right?

When Patton had first pointed out the dirt he had come back to his room and just washed his face with water after he couldn't see anything on his nose in his mirrors, he thought Patton must have been exaggerating or a trick of the light in the kitchen. But when he went back down and Patton said it was still there and Anxiety saw it too, Princey decided he better use some soap and cleansers this time. This isn't a big issue, nothing to worry about, why not redo his entire morning beauty routine while he was at it, no problem at all. Maybe even use that special exfoliating scrub he used only once a week.

But he still didn't see anything on his face.

 

~~~~

Logic was sitting down watching some new program on Netflix taking down some notes to explain to Thomas later when Princey came into the lounge picked up the remote and started flicking through the programs.

"Excuse me that is just plain rude I was watching that and it was fascinating." complained Logic attempting to grab the remote back from Princey.

"It looked boring it looked like it was a show on dams," argued Roman.

"It was an informative documentary on manmade structures created to restrict the flow of water to create a reservoir and how they are used to create hydroelectricity."

"So it _was_ boring."

"Princey give the remote back!"

"No lets watch something fun like, ah, here we go Charlie Brown."

Logic was annoyed and he knew he couldn't best Roman in a feat of physical strength (meaning he could not wrestle him for the remote) but he was about to try when suddenly he remembered Patton's request that morning and thought of a better idea.

"Are you looking for ways you can further improve your impersonation of Pig Pen?" he asked coyly.

Princey turned sharply to look at him.

"What?" he demanded.

Logic pointed to his own face just to the side of nose, "You appear to have a large amount of sediment on your face - all along here," he said as he rubbed his finger on the side of his nose and section of his cheek just under his eye.

Princey's hands immediately shot up and started rubbing down both sides of his nose and cheeks.

It's still there and its spread? he thought with alarm as he got up and left the room heading back to his bathroom once more.

Logic grinned as he grabbed the abandoned remote on the floor and switched back to his program.


	4. Yeah, its still there.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others convince Princey the dirt is still there and bad things happen.

Princey hurried back into the bathroom, turned on the taps and dived into the cupboards under the sink grabbing a different foaming cleanser.

_The other one I was using must have been defective. Oh why can't I see anything? And more importantly why won't it come off?_

 ~~~

"It's still, still there Princey."

 ~~~

This time he grabbed a loofah to scrub his face with. It would be much better at exfoliating dirt.

_Come off stubborn dirt!_

 ~~~

"You know the term "brown nose" isn't a good thing, right?"

~~~ 

_Okay so it says mix the gel soap with water to create a foam, so if I apply it directly without the water it will be stronger - right?_

 ~~~

Sigh. "If you cannot maintain basic hygiene you really are daydreaming far too much."

 ~~~

_Maybe if I mix these two facial scrubs together. And maybe this acne cream too._

~~~ 

"Nope it's still there."

~~~ 

_Why can't I see it? Where is it? My cheeks look a little pink from cleaning but -but -but WHY WON'T IT COME OFF._

 ~~~

"Look it's right along here. Going down the side of your nose and under your eye, it actually looks like a poor attempt to imitate Anxiety's eye shadow"

 ~~~

The sink was covered with lotions, creams, exfoliators and soaps. Every kind of beauty product you could imagine. He grabbed a nail brush and pumice stone. He knew they weren't designed for the face but they came in a gift set and hadn't been used yet so it was fine.

 _It was rough but it will get it off._ He scrubbed harder. _It has to help get it off._

 ~~~

Patton was loving this. He never thought he would be so great at pranking.

 ~~~

_Maybe if I leave the creams on for longer._

Princey sat on the edge of the bathtub waited, trying not to think of the laughter he heard from the others each time he left the room.

_Maybe I could put a face mask over the creams._

 ~~~

Logic and Anxiety were loving this-this was hilarious.  All those times when Princey burst in loudly, sprouting off his delusional attention seeking fanciful ideas that they had to constantly argue against even during Thomas's videos. But now they didn't have to argue. The second Princey got on either of their nerves all they had to do was look, point and just say "Dirt" and Princey fled.

 ~~~

His skin was starting to tingle but he rubbed the lotions in harder and harder. The water he used to clean them off was scalding. He used his hands, loofahs, brushes, exfoliating gloves, anything to help rub the soaps in. His skin was turning from a light pink to a light red.

_Please be clean. Please, please this time be clean._

_~~~_

"You better get that dirt off soon, Thomas wants to do a video later what will the fanders think if you show up looking like _that_?"

 ~~~~

Desperate times called for desperate measures. There were no pleasant flowery soapy scents now, just the harsh odors of chemicals. The tingling was turning into a itchy burn but he ignored it and kept scrubbing.

_Watch your eyes. This has to work. I don't know what else to do if this doesn't work. Please come off._

 Princey rinsed his face off with hot water. He stared into the mirror chewing his bottom lip. _Is_ _the dirt gone? Is it?_

He breathing was coming out in shaky gasps. _It has to be gone now. Please. Oh god I never could see it in the first place I don't know. But everyone else could see it they thought it looked funny, they laughed at me, they made fun of me._

He stared at his reflection for a very long time.

Suddenly he saw the forest for the trees. He had been so focused on trying to see the dirt and wash it off he hadn't noticed anything else.

"Oh my God what have I done to myself!" Princey wailed.


	5. Side effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas wants to do a video and Princey doesn't show up. The others manage to drag him out to the commons and find out something has gone very wrong.

Princey hadn't left his room in hours. 

But since he hadn't had anything specific planned with any of the other sides that afternoon, the others didn't particularly notice his absence. 

They certainly didn't realize that something was wrong and that the royal had gone into hiding. 

That is until Thomas wanted them all for a video.

Logic, Anxiety and Morality had all appeared in their respective corners as Thomas had started explaining his idea to the camera. 

Thomas had decided he wanted to do a video that again involved input from the fanders but this time they would send in photos of people - it could be themselves, their friends, their family or even a photo of completely random person - famous or unknown. Thomas and his personality traits would then take turns to say positive traits they saw in that person. The focus was body positivity.

"This is a fantastic idea!" shouted Patton. 

"Hmm I don't know," muttered Anxiety "I don't know if I can throw out a compliment to a complete stranger and hasn't this idea for a video already been done. Shouldn't you be worried that this isn't original content and shouldn't you tell your fanders not to send in photos of people without their consent and-" 

"I too believe I might struggle with this proposed idea." said Logic "I would much rather have some more data on the individuals because a person's true beauty is within -"

"Oh Logic that's so sweet-" 

" - their mind.  The only real worthwhile praise a person can receive is a high ranking in their IQ score." 

"..."

"Um well okay, I thought that maybe for practise we could use each other first," suggested Thomas.

"We already did that in your Q & A - we sucked at it," said Anxiety.

"Also we have the same face - how many different positive attributes can you expect us to provide?" asked Logic.

Patton launched straight into the challenge.

"Thomas you have most beautiful smile in the world, Logic I love how thick and strong your eyebrows are, Anxiety your glare pierces into my soul, Thomas your eyes are like warm gooey caramel, Logic your posture amazing, Anxiety you have the most precious bangs -"

"Okay, okay stop Patton we haven't started yet. We have to wait for Princey - where is he? Princey!" called Thomas lifting his arm up to the sound of trumpets.

Princey didn't appear.

"Princey." Thomas called louder this time. "We're doing a video where the others get to tell you how handsome you look."  

Still Princey didn't appear.

From the depths of his mind space the others heard "I'm -I'm not coming out. I'm too unwell to be on camera today."

Thomas stood confused. He had done nothing to bruise his ego today so Princey should be camera ready. "Is everything alright Roman?" he called.

"Just - just leave me be.  I want to be alone." 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. I just want to stay in my room!" Princey's distressed voice echoed through the room. 

Thomas glanced around at the others, Patton looked concerned but Anxiety and Logic did not. 

"You guys have any idea what's going on?" asked Thomas.

"Patton's prank." answered Anxiety simply. Logic nodded. Thomas still looked confused and he looked at Patton for answers. Patton looked confused as well. 

"But my prank wouldn't make him sick." said Patton looking between Anxiety and Logic.

"Okay someone tell me what's going on right now." demanded Thomas. 

Morality quickly outlined his prank to Thomas and what they had been doing to Princey that morning. 

"Oh." said Thomas with sudden understanding. 

"What?" asked Morality.

Thomas was about to answer but Logic jumped in. "You see Morality," he said adjusting his glasses "There is nothing wrong with Princey. Your prank has been so successful in convincing him he has sediment smeared all over his face that he has gone into hiding because he does not want to appear on camera in such a state. You know how much he values his appearance." 

"Oh oops-a-daisy I didn't mean to make him upset and hide. I just wanted to do a trick. I'll tell him it was all a prank. PRINCEY COME OUT NOW I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AND YOU ARE STILL GORGEOUS OKAY."  shouted Morality coving his mouth with his hands to make a cone directing his voice to Princey's corner of the room. 

But Princey still didn't appear. In fact the others thought they could hear faint distant crying. Morality started to bite his fingernails in worry - he hadn't meant to hurt the others feelings. 

Thomas looked around at the others "He hasn't ducked out like Anxiety did - I can still feel his presence. If we all try and summon him together maybe that will pull him out here."

The others nodded.

"Okay on three." instructed Logic "One, two, THREE!" Everybody pulled at Princey's being with all their might and with the sudden burst of trumpets Princey was pulled out into the commons. 

But he was facing to the wall with his back towards them, but Anxiety and Morality were able to see the side of him because of their positions in the room. They were able to see that he had a wet face washer pressed against his face. Princey felt that he had been pulled from his room and gave a muffled wail into the face washer. 

"Roman turn around." instructed Logic.

Princey shook his head vigorously. 

"Princey it's okay. There's no dirt on your nose. It was just a prank I played on you. So you can do the video and you'll love this game. All of us are going to get turns at saying how beautiful we all are." said Morality. 

Princey went very still when he heard Morality say that it was all just a prank. 

_You idiot. How could you be so stupid. There was nothing there. You saw that there was nothing there and you still went and did **this** to yourself. You are -were the pretty one - that's all you were. You're not smart like Logic, not fun and adorable like Morality or cool and edgy like Anxiety. They all laughed at you for how stupid you were when you believed them when there was nothing there. Imagine how much they are going to laugh when they see you now. _

Princey started sobbing into the face washer. 

"Hey kiddo what's wrong? I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you with my trick, but it's all okay now though. You don't have anything on your face." said Morality trying to comfort the other but he didn't know what was upsetting the other so much. Princey despite already facing the wall turned slightly, so he shifted further away from Morality. Unfortunately to do this it meant he turned slightly more to Anxiety's corner and the other trait noticed something. 

He noticed the spot where the face washer fell away from the royals face where his fingers were not pressing into the cloth, it was just by his ear where it started turning from ear into his cheek. He noticed that that area was an angry red - too bright to be from embarrassment and it was swollen and puffy. 

"Princey what's happened to your face?" asked Anxiety sternly. The others hadn't seen anything yet so they were confused and unnerved by Anxiety's tone. 

Princey just shook his head in his hands. He wasn't going to show them!

"Princey tell us what's happened now." demanded Anxiety. 

"No, leave me alone!" replied Princey but it came muffled through the washer. 

Anxiety walked over to him and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and spun him around so he was facing the middle of the room.

"Show us your face  _right now_." hissed Anxiety. The others were leaning forward from there spots around the room trying to see what had got Virgil so worked up. 

Roman gave out one more choked sob. He couldn't get out of this. He couldn't avoid them forever. Even if he vanished back to his room they would pull him out again.

"Pl-Please don't laugh." he whispered. Slowly he pulled his hands away taking the face washer with them, so the others could see his face. 

His eyes were so puffed and swollen he was forced to squint out of them but he could see Anxiety's jaw drop and his face pale even under the white foundation. Behind him he heard Logic gasp and clap his hands over his mouth, in a rare moment Thomas actually swore out loud and Patton just screamed: "ROMAN OH ROMAN YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE WHAT HAPPENED?". 


	6. Like no chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody had chill.

Everyone in the room surged towards Princey crowding around him, invading his personal space trying to get a closer look at his mangled face. 

This naturally caused Roman to become more distressed and panicked. 

He wailed and pulled himself free of Anxiety's grasp and stumbled backwards cowering as much as he could into his corner of the room in a desperate attempt to put some distance between himself and the others. 

"Oh my god, how did this happen?"

"What do we do?"

"This is just awful."

"Quickly somebody do something, _anything_." 

Everyone was talking at once, trying to get closer to Princey, trying to see his face. His horrible puffy ugly face!

Roman couldn't handle it - everyone was too close, they were looking at him, staring at him - while he looked like this!

He burst into tears. 

This naturally caused the other sides to become more distressed and panicked. Like seriously nobody had any chill. 

Patton tried to pull Princey up into a hug but the creative side just wailed louder and flailing his arms wildly trying to keep everyone away. 

"Stop it. Don't look at me!"

Princey's voice was getting higher and more panic-stricken with every word.

"Roman it's okay we're going to help-"

"Stop staring at me! Leave me alone!" He threw his arms over his face to hide.

Patton tried to pull his arms away.

"You have to let us help you!"

"Shut up, shut up, don't look at me. Stop it. Let go. Stop looking at me. Leave me alone. _Don't look at me, please don't!"_

"It's alright we-

"IT'S ALRIGHT? _I'm hideous!_   _I'm ugly. I'm disgusting. I'm so stupid. THIS HURTS!_ Don't touch me Patton! This is all your fault I hate you. Leave me alone. Sweet mother of -of everything in the universe and beyond, this is the worse thing that has every happened. To anybody. Ever. You all said there was dirt, I was just trying to get it off. Now look at me. NO DON'T ACTUALLY LOOK AT ME! What do I do now? _Stop looking at me!_ Please somebody fix me - Waaaah" and with that Princey wildly grabbed and tugged at Anxiety's hoodie, he managed to grab the hood at the back and tried to bury his face into it to hide while the other was still wearing it.


	7. Why do you have this much facial stuff?

Roman groaned and squirmed uncomfortably. 

He tried to turn his head away. Again. 

Logan's fingers laced through his hair just gripped more tightly and held him firmly in place. 

Anxiety also gripped him tighter, with his legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his chest keeping Princey's arms pinned to his sides, his back pressed against Anxiety's chest.

Anxiety had literally jumped on the royal from behind during the chase around the house that had ensued after they had tried to examine his face in detail. They had collapsed on the couch and Anxiety was holding the other down while stuck underneath him. Anxiety was trapped but at least it meant they could look at Princey's injured face properly.  

Princey wasn't going anywhere. He knew this. But he still wriggled and jiggled about in Anxiety's arms. If it wasn't such a serious situation it would have been quite comical to watch Princey wiggling about in a bear hug from Anxiety. 

"Shh, shh relax. It's alright. Logic needs to do this Princey. He needs to look at you so he can figure out how to help you. Just relax. Deep breaths okay, there we go good boy." murmured Anxiety quietly into Princey's ear, resting his chin on the others shoulder. 

Logic was staring at him intently. 

Princey closed his eyes and whimpered. 

He had already seen what Logic was seeing, he had spent ages staring at his deformed face before they had summoned him for the video. 

Every thing was a bright angry red and  _so, so_ swollen. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his face from the intense burning he felt. He was so puffed up that he could only squint out of his eyes. But his nose. Oh his nose was the worse. 

The skin here was bubbling and blistering, skin peeling away already. On the sides of his nose the skin had been scrubbed raw to the point that he had caused it to bleed. 

Logic bit his lower lip. 

"Princey can you please tell me how your face feels at the moment? Burning sensation? Itchy?" 

Roman drew in a shaky breath. It sounded like he was going to cry again.

"Take your time, you're doing so well. So brave." whispered Anxiety. 

"It-it burns. All over just burning and-and throbbing too. Like the worst sunburn ever. And it's itchy too, I just want to tear into my skin and scratch and scratch and scratch. _oh it burns!_ " cried Princey squirming again, Anxiety clamped down again concerned that the royal would break free and actually start clawing at his face. 

"And can you tell me what you put on your face?" asked Logic. 

"Everything." said Princey flatly. 

"Can you be a bit more specific?" asked Logic. 

"There-oh Logic I just used to many things to count." said Princey sadly. 

"Do you still have the bottles? Are they in your room?" questioned Logic. 

"Yes. Everything I used is still in my bathroom on the sink. Or on the floor. Or in the bin if I finished the whole container." muttered Princey.

"Alright." said Logic as he turned to face the others in the room. "I am going to go and look at the items Princey used and see what instructions they have listed on them for "in case of allergic reaction" there should also be some phone numbers or websites I can look up for material safety data which should list proper first aid required if an allergy has occurred. Thomas, Patton go to the kitchen and get the soft tea towels and pour the fridge water over them and place them on his face to help with the swelling." 

The others headed off with their respective tasks. 

"I'm such a stupid idiot." Princey said to himself. 

"You're not stupid Princey." Anxiety snapped. "Don't worry we will fix this." 

Thomas and Morality came back. Morality passed the wet towels to Thomas to place on Princey's face. Morality had become very subdued and hadn't said much for the past hour.

Ah, thought Princey, the towels soothed the pain slightly. 

Suddenly there was a loud shout coming from Princey's corner of the living room.

"YOU STUPID IDIOT." screamed Logic from the depths of Princey's room. Everyone turned to look at the empty spot in the living room. A second later Logic appeared there. 

"BLEACH! You used bleach on your face," shouted Logic. 

Morality gasped. 

"Oh Roman you didn't," whispered Thomas in horror. 

"NO! No - I didn't use the bleach - I swear," cried Roman. He didn't say the only reason he didn't use the bleach was he was concerned it would discolour his eyebrows. 

"And the rest!" demanded Logic.

"Um...yes" admitted Princey.

"Aughhhh," shirked Logic in anger, waving his hands by the side of his head as if there was seething fire coming out from the side of his head. 

"What the hell is "the rest"" demanded Anxiety. 

"In addition to at least 50 beauty products in Princey's bathroom - 16 of them completely emptied by the way- there are several household cleaning products. Products NOT designed to be used on humans. Dishwashing liquids, toilet cleaner, window spray, oven cleaner! Princey why on earth did you use them on yourself!"  shouted Logic.

Princey burst into tears again.

"Because I  _tried_ all of the 50 beauty products already! And-and you all said the dirt was still there, I thought they weren't working! I-I had to find something stronger okay. Every time I saw you guys you kept saying  _the dirt was still there_ so I kept going back each time trying to find a different way to  _get rid of it_. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I HAD TO GET IT OFF - I HAD TO - I-I-*gasp*" Princey suddenly found he couldn't breath. 

"Princey calm down," instructed Thomas grabbing his hand to try and calm him down. 

"Oh my god - I think he's having a panic attack!" exclaimed Anxiety. 

Princey kept gasping for air. Logic ran over to the couch and knelt down next to Thomas.

"It's alright Roman, I'm sorry for shouting, it's alright just breath for me okay, just breath." 

Morality stood behind them, hands covering his mouth terrified to make a sound. He didn't know how to help or what he should do. Silent tears streamed down his eyes as he watched the others calm down Roman until he was breathing normally again, at which point he started repeating over and over " _I just wanted to get it off."_  


	8. Comfort

The sides and Thomas had taken Roman back to his room and tucked him in, nice and comfy in his bed. They arranged all his stuffed toys around him and got out the most fluffy blanket he had. Then they had set up the little portable TV at the end of his bed and put on some of his favourite cartoons. Anxiety had climbed onto the bed with him and snuggled up beside him, like a cat. 

It was adorable. But no one said anything in case Anxiety was as skittish as a real cat and jumped off the bed if any attention was drawn to the affection he was giving Princey. 

Thomas who was sitting next to the bed had arranged more face clothes wet with fridge water on Princey's face. There was gaps for his eyes and a bit for his mouth so he could still talk but the rest was completely covered. He looked like a someone who was recovering from intensive plastic surgery.

Logic and Morality had gone into his bathroom and collected all of the face creams and cleaning products and taken them away in a big bag. 

Logic told Princey he was not to put anything on his face unless he gave him permission, even after the swelling had gone down. 

"The swelling will go down?" he asked hopefully. 

"Yes of course it will," replied Logic trying to sound soothing.

"Soon?"

"Um-I am not sure exactly how long it will take - but it will - you need to rest and be patient."

Princey nodded and it dislodged one of the face clothes, Anxiety quickly adjusted it back into place. 

"But when it does return to normal - I don't want you using this many facial products anymore, really sheer amount you have is completely out of hand and unnecessary." 

Logic turned and walked back into the bathroom and made a hand gesture for Morality to follow. When they were back in there Logic put a hand on the mirror. 

"Patton help me with this, Princey won't be able to undo this easily if both of us do it together."

Morality placed his hand on the mirror next to Logic's, he willed his power to follow Logic's lead. Soon the clear mirror became frosted over to a cloudy white. You could still see there outlines but they were just blurry figures now.

"I think its best for Roman to avoid gazing at his reflection for a little while." said Logic. 

Morality just nodded sadly. 

"Let's do the rest of the mirrors in his room and then move on to the rest of the house."

The was a full length mirror on the back of Princey's door and another hand held mirror on his desk. The others didn't say anything when they saw what the other two were doing to them. Logic held his hand out to Roman. 

"The compact mirror in your pocket please." 

Princey sniffled a little bit as he watched Logic frost it over. 

As Logic and Morality left, Princey said out loud "Is it really that bad?"

Anxiety and Thomas stiffened. 

"Uh, well -oh Princey don't worry about it - its just tempora-" muttered Thomas. 

"If pain is beauty. Then you are hotter than all the Victoria Secret Models combined. I think. If you think those girls are hot or whatever." said Anxiety flatly. 

"Well  _I_ think you are more smokin' hot than any of those girls, even looking like this!" declared Thomas. 

"For you, that's really not setting the bar that high." muttered Princey. 

"Also very Selfcest creepy." said Anxiety. 

Logic and Morality came back at that exact moment. 

"What's Selfcest?" both asked in unison. 

"Never you mind," replied Anxiety with false cheer. 

"I mean, I think you are beautiful no matter what you look like Prin-Roman." said Thomas hoping the switch to his proper name showed that he was being serious. 

"Thomas - what are you going to do for your Sanders Sides series if this is permanent?" demanded Princey. "How can I be any worth to you if I am not outwardly beautiful. That's all I am in those videos, the eye candy for the fanders. You just glammed up. Nobody watches those videos to hear me speak or for my ideas. I'm nothing but the pretty one. It's these three that solve the dilemmas and have all the quick wit, smart remarks and clever puns. I-I add no... substance to your videos. I'm just there - being extra."  

"Roman that is not true. Not true in the slightest. And let me point out to you all, that my videos are not a popularity contest between you guys! You all make up me. You are all important and yes sometimes I get carried away and forget that (glances awkwardly at Anxiety) but each and every one of you plays a part in making me the very best I can be. None of you are ever just there for show." said Thomas. 

"Roman," said Patton in a small voice "What you do for Thomas is really incredible - none of us could ever even come close to being as creative as you. You have so many wonderful ideas. We wouldn't have these new outfits if it wasn't for you. Thomas said that I was the one who started him in making vines in the first place but it was you who kept coming up with the ideas - hundred and hundreds of ideas for him to act out. You are the one behind all of this. All of the quick wit, smart remarks and clever puns wouldn't exist without your creativity to create them. " 

"Oh Patton, thank you."


	9. Even

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because the last chapter didn't specifically have Patton apologizing.

Everyone had been sitting in silence for a while quietly watching cartoons in Princey's bedroom when suddenly Morality shouted;

"I'M SO SORRY!" 

Everyone jumped because of this sudden unexpected outburst, Anxiety almost fell off Princey's bed in fright. He grabbed a soft toy and threw it at Morality.

"Geez can you warn a guy before doing that next time!?"

"Okay Morality you have our attention is there anything else you wanted to say?" 

Morality looked like he was going to burst into tears as he stared at Princey.

"Its-its just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry Roman. This is all my fault.  _I'm_ the stupid one. Me and my stupid prank. I didn't think this would happened. I just  _didn't think._ And-and you got hurt because of me and-" 

"Patton it's okay, you didn't mean it," said Princey. 

"No-no it was an accident, I swear." said Morality. 

"I am the stupid one for doing this to myself- even though I could never see any dirt."

"I am getting  _really_ tired you guys calling yourselves stupid," said Thomas crossly. 

"I'm just so sorry." muttered Morality quietly. 

"Mistakes do happen. I would like to point out that this is not the first occurrence of a "prank" going amiss with us. It seems the activity is something that we all seem quite spectacularly bad at. Remember that time when Princey managed to make Anxiety freeze like a statue and at the same time made all of his clothes vanish?" asked Logic. 

"Wait what?" asked Thomas.

"Don't ask." grumbled Anxiety.

"Or that prank where I nearly drowned when we were camping?" continued Logic. 

"WAIT WHAT?!" exclaimed Thomas.

"Long story, in the past now, don't worry about it Thomas." said Logic. "My point is you didn't have the benefit of hindsight when you started this Patton - none of us would have carried on with this prank if we knew this would be the result." 

Patton clasped his hands in his lap and looked down at his feet. "But - I'm still really sorry Roman. Please if there's anything I can do to make it so you don't hate me anymore-"

"My dear Patton I don't hate you." 

"But before - you said that you hated me!" cried Patton tears welling up in his eyes. 

"Patton I was well - distraught. I didn't mean it. Come here." said Roman sitting up to pull the other into a hug.

"This is so pure." whispered Thomas. 

And after that they settled back in to watch more cartoon. 

However about 10 minutes later;

"PENS!" screamed Patton. 

"I swear you are going to give me a heart attack one day." snapped Anxiety throwing more toys at Morality. But he missed because Morality had already jumped up and was rummaging through Princey desk. 

He came back to the bed with some thick coloured permanent markers. 

"Here." he said dumping them on Princey's lap and sticking his face up next to him. 

"Wha?" asked Princey completely confused by the situation. 

"Um look, it might take a few days or longer for the swelling to go down, so to make it up to you - draw on my face. Anything you want. Think of it like revenge." 

"Oh Patton no you don't need to do that." said Princey.

"I insist." replied Patton his voice making it clear he was not going to take no for an answer. "If you have to be stuck like that, then I can look different too."

"Um." Princey sounded uncertain. 

Thomas had an idea. Which meant Princey had the idea first and it just carried over to him. They locked eyes and Thomas nodded. 

Princey picked up the red marker and drew a large heart on Morality's cheek. 

Morality jumped up and ran to the bathroom, "What is it? What is it? Oh the mirrors are blurry, I forgot. What is it guys?"

"It's a heart - it suits you." said Anxiety. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking that's it unless you guys want Anxiety/Logic/Thomas to join in and have drawings done - if so and let me know and what they should have.  
> They could be mean and put on Logic 1+1=3.  
> :p


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